The ice inside your soul
by darklittlewings
Summary: Sesshomaru gives Rin the most romantic and loving night of her life. Then tells her to leave because his fiance is coming, breaking her heart. What happens when he shows up at her 21st Bday party? Modern day. M for language and hinted sexual content


As Rin sat at her desk she looked around at all of the flowers, cards and gifts she had received. Today was her 21st birthday. It seemed as if her friends and coworkers were more excited about it than she was. The emails were coming in faster than she could read them. Who knew turning 21 would make everyone so happy.

She sighed and played with a little stuffed toy someone had given her. She wanted to be as happy as everyone felt she should be. It was so hard when all she could think about was him. It had been 2 months. 'She should feel better by now, right?' But the truth was that she didn't.

She still laid awake every night missing him. She felt like half of her soul was gone. If someone had told her 3 months ago she would be spending her 21st birthday without her beloved Sesshomaru, she would have laughed at them. She truly believed he loved her.

But that was not the case. 2 months ago on their 1 year anniversary he broke her heart. He had taken her to the most exclusive restaurant in town. Earlier in the day he had brought her a beautiful blue gown with a gorgeous sapphire and diamond necklace. To top it off he gave her the most delicate strappy sandals she had ever seen and a dozen sunshine yellow roses (her favorite color).

They had the most wonderful evening. She was sure no day could ever top it. He took her home to his penthouse and they made love. Sesshomaru was always gentle with her but that night he was affectionate. He kissed her repeatedly, caressed her, he made her cum over and over again. He told her she was beautiful and the most amazing woman he had ever known.

It had never been like that before. She felt so complete, so loved. He pulled her close into his chest and held her like she was going to disappear if he let go. He kept breathing her in as if he was creating a memory. She was so happy. She had visions of the rest of her life with this elegant, reserved man. The one who showed his true self only to her. She laid there in his arms and soon fell into a deep sleep.

She awoke to him shaking her shoulder and calling her name. Dazed she sat up to find him sitting at the end of the bed. He had his head in his hands and was wearing his boxers again. She got a very bad feeling inside her gut. She crawled over to his back and laid her cheek against him. He pulled away telling her she could no longer touch him. She was horrified. Why would he even dream of treating her this way after last night.

He told her his Fiancé had just texted him from the airport and was on her way. He told her she had to get out of his penthouse now. 'His Fiancé? What?' She was so stunned she didn't know what to do first. She wanted to ask a million questions but she couldn't think or find her voice. She put on the blue dress which now caused her great embarrassment. She left the shoes and necklace behind and walked out of the door onto the street in her bare feet.

To this day she doesn't remember how she got home. She just remembers her roommate Kagome waking her and asking if she was ok. Her feet were swollen and bloodied, she was still wearing the blue dress and

her face was covered in dirt and streaked with tears. She didn't say a word to Kagome, she just laid there until Kagome gave up and finally left her to wallow in her own self pity.

So here she was 2 months later on what she thought would be a fun and joyous day. Truly she just felt empty. At that moment she received an IM from Kagome telling her that they were all going out to club Rocket for her birthday and she was coming whether she wanted to or not.

CLUB ROCKET

Rin was sitting next to Inuyasha. It was sometimes hard to look at him. His appearance was so similar to his half brother Sesshomaru it was a little disheartening. He and Kagome had been together forever and would surely be together always. It made her heart ache to be with them. She loved them both and wanted them to be happy, but couldn't she be happy too. She looked across the table to see Miroku kissing Sango on the forehead as she got up to leave with Kagome to get drinks. 'Why did everyone else get their happy ending.' She put her chin on her hand and groaned.

Inuyasha leaned in towards Rin and put his hand on the back of her chair. "You know my bone head brother has been asking about you" He smiled at her like this was welcomed news. "So? What do you want me to do about it?" She turned away from him to see if Kagome and Sango were coming back from getting their drinks. She did not want to have this conversation with him. Not on her birthday.

He pulled his hand down and grabbed her arm so she would look at him. " Look, Rin I am not in the habit of caring what happens to my fucked up brother but you need to know something." He looked so concerned she couldn't help but acknowledge him. "He did what he did because he felt had too. He was told by his mother that he was to marry Kagura or lose his place within the company and disgrace his family. Honor and duty are more important to my brother than anything. Knowing him the way you do, you know it's true. He feels he could never be the right man for you if he had to let his honor be destroyed."

Rin crossed her arms over her chest and groaned. "What does it matter Inuyasha, He feels honor is more important than the love he felt or didn't feel for me. He used me until his demoness came along. One who could give him his full blood demon pups. I am just the stupid human girl who would give him half breed weaklings remember?" Inuyasha's eyes got big and a little angry. "It matters because he is in love with you and his heart is broken. He keeps your shoes in a box in his closet." Rin's eyebrows lifted. "So that just proves your brother has a shoe fetish, big deal. It does not prove he loves me and how dare he have a broken heart. He is the one who did the heart breaking. Who does he think he is anyway?" She got up to walk away from him and see if Kagome and Sango needed help with the drinks.

He grabbed her arm and said "Wait, there is more. He is going to be here tonight. He just texted me. Here, take my keys and go get Kagome to take you home. He doesn't know you are here." He thrust his keys in her hand and gently pushed her away. " I want you to know, I wish you would stay and face him, he needs you." She frowned at him. "Inuyasha you can't be in love with someone and kick them out of your life like they were nothing. I am sure Kagura will fix his poor broken heart _**and**_ keep his bed warm." She turned and started towards Kagome. Inuyasha humph'd and turned back to talk to Miroku.

"Kagome, we have to go. Inuyasha gave me his keys so you could take me home. Sesshomaru is on his way and I just can't be here." Kagome gave her a surprised face and said "Oh, ok just let me get my purse and we'll go. I'll be right back" But it was too late. Coming through the door and staring right at her was her deepest scar and his fiancé. 'Oh, god what am I going to do? I gotta get out of here now.' She started heading towards Kagome hoping to escape.

However, their table was actually closer to the door than her. Sesshomaru and Kagura had made it there before she could. Kagome's eyes were wide looking at her pleading with her for forgiveness. She made it to Kagome who now had her purse and was heading towards Rin. Hoping to head off any unpleasantness. "You know what, Kagome? I don't think I am going to leave. It's MY birthday. I deserve to celebrate. He can just FUCK OFF!" She made sure every demon within earshot heard her as she pushed passed Kagome to sit down.

She stared daggers toward her one time love letting him know he had better go away. Sesshomaru bowed to her and wished her a happy birthday. She said "Thank you." turned and drank the shot of tequila sitting on the table. " So Inuyasha I thought you were buying the birthday girl drinks until she puked." she winked at him then smiled like everything was normal. "Of course." He got up and asked her what her poison was and she said " I want a mucho grande margarita." He smiled and headed towards the bar. Sesshomaru stopped him and gave him a $100 bill and said he was buying.

Rin jumped out of her seat and grabbed the bill from Inuyasha and threw it at Sesshomaru. "You will not buy me anything, do you understand? Leave me and my friends alone. You will not ruin my birthday."

With that said she walked away towards the karaoke stage to look at the book of songs. 'I can not believe he would come here, it's my birthday.' she thought as she tried to fight the tears now stinging the backs of her eyes.

Then she found it. The song that said it all and she was going to sing for everyone to hear. Especially Mr Icicle. She put her request in and went to sit down with the rest. Sesshomaru and Kagaru had gone away and sat at a booth. She breathed a sigh of relief and started to guzzle down her giant margarita. " Slow down there little one you need to start slow and build up to it." Said Inuyasha as he gave Rin a big grin. She ignored him and just kept going. It was her 21st birthday and she was going to get drunk off her ass. She had every right and she was going to do it.

She slammed the glass down on the table, wiped her mouth and said "Done, can I have another?" Inuyasha eyed Kagome and said "Don't you think you should let that one settle" She glared at him and said "Never mind I'll just get my own." She started to get up when Inuyasha stopped her and said "No, no it's your birthday I will get it. Sit down, ok." He turned and left after asking everyone if they wanted anything.

"Rin, are you going to be ok?" Kagome turned to her with a very concerned brow. "Of course, it's my 21st birthday, why wouldn't I be?" She gave Kagome her best fake smile, making Kagome frown even more.

"Rin are you sure you don't want me or Sango to take you home?" Suddenly Rin heard her name over the mic "Our next performer is Rin Suzuki, lets give her a big hand". Rin jumped straight up from her chair and screamed "Ooo that's me" as she ran to the stage.

Rin chose as her revenge on Sesshomaru song "Jar of hearts" by Christina Perri, which she felt was very appropriate.

No I can't take one more step towards you

Cuz all that's waiting is regret.

Don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore

You lost the love I loved the most

I learned to live half alive

Now you want me one more time

Who do think you are?

Running 'round leaving scars

Collecting your jar of hearts

Tearing love apart

Your gonna catch a cold

From the ice inside your soul

Don't come back for me

Who do think you are?

I hear your asking all around

If I am anywhere to be found

But I have grown to strong

To ever fall back to your arms

I learned to live half alive

And now you want me one more time

Who do think you are?

Running 'round leaving scars

Collecting your jar of hearts

Tearing love apart

Your gonna catch a cold

From the ice inside your soul

So don't come back for me

Who do you think you are?

It took so long just to feel all right

Remember how to put back the light in my eyes

I wished I had missed the first time that we kissed

You broke all your promises

And now your back

Your looking to get me back

Who do you think you are?

Running 'round leaving scars

Collecting your jar of hearts

Tearing love apart

Your gonna catch a cold

From the ice inside your soul

Don't come back for me

Don't come back at all

Who do you think you are?

Running 'round leaving scars

Collecting your jar of hearts

Tearing love apart

Your gonna catch a cold

From the ice inside your soul

Don't come back for me

Don't come back at all

Who do you think you are?

Who do you think you are?

Who do you think you are?

She finished her song as a tear slid down her face. She ran off the stage and out the door. Finally resting on a bench out front. Then the floodgate opened up and the tears fell. All the tears she had blocked out since that night all came out in hysterical sobs. Uncontrolled, racking her whole body till she couldn't breath anymore. She started to hiccup while the tears just kept coming. "Oh god this is the worst birthday ever" she whispered to herself. Hoping the ground would open and swallow her whole.

Suddenly she realized someone had sat down next to her. That person pulled her in close and whispered into her ear "Rin, I am so sorry." She pulled herself back to see Sesshomaru's golden eyes looking down at her. "I thought the part of your song where it said I was going to catch a cold from the ice inside my soul was very descriptive." She smiled and gave a nervous laugh. " What makes you think I would waste my time singing a song about you?" He reached in and brushed her bangs from her face.

He gave her that slight smile she knew that only she had ever seen. Her heart melted instantly. "Alright so it was for you, so what? It summed up my feelings pretty well, I think." He chuckled and pulled her against him. "Wait, did you just chuckle?" He hugged her to him tighter and said "No, I think you might be drunk."

He then grabbed her shoulders and pulled her away so he could look her in the eye. "Rin, I am so sorry for all the pain I caused you. I just wanted to be a good son and stay with the family business. Do the honorable thing and have full demon pups to carry on my mother and father's bloodline. But leaving you has made my life a mess. I don't care what my family wants. I want you to have my pups. They will be ours, yours and mine. They will be beautiful and strong. Please forgive me." He hung is head as if his life would be over if she said no.

He let his head fall forward and into her chest with a small thud. Then he wrapped his arms around her waist. She started petting the back of his head without even realizing she was doing it. "Sesshomaru you ruined me, destroyed my very soul. No one before or since has ever hurt me like you did. You let me walk home with no shoes. After making the sweetest love to me and then announcing you had a fiancé . What kind of a mind fuck is that?" He pulled his head up to look at her, clearly shocked by her choice of words.

"Rin I didn't even realize you forgot your shoes until later. I truly believed you would call Kagome or Sango to pick you up. I never even dreamed you would walk four miles barefoot at three o'clock in the morning. I thought Kagura wasn't coming until the next day. I had planned spending a beautiful night with you and then telling you my heart and my reason for what I had to do. I wanted you to keep the necklace and clothes and to know I loved only you, forever. She texted me while you were asleep to tell me she was on the way. I lost my ability to think. I became angry and took it out on the one person I never wanted to hurt. I couldn't believe she was already ruining my life and we weren't even married yet. I hated her so much and I took it out on you. I didn't want you to touch me or look at me because I hated myself for everything that was happening." He ran his hands through his hair and sighed.

" I can't believe I let myself loose control like that. I just wanted everything to be perfect and to love you the way you should be loved. I let you be mad at me because I thought it would be easier. I hoped you would move on and be happy even if I was dying a little more every day. I thought about your 21st birthday all week. I wanted to be with you so much. Most of the time all I think about is being with you. I overheard Inuyasha and Kagome talking about it a few days ago. So this evening I invited myself letting them think I just wanted to hang out. Kagura saw my text and invited herself as well. Damnit!" He gave her his slight smile again.

He reached over and pulled her onto his lap. He tucked her head under his chin and rubbed her back. She pulled away to look into his eyes. "Sesshomaru are you telling me you want to give up everything and be with me?" He looked down at her with his normal stoic face " Yes I would, but Rin, I had a job offer from a major American corporation who want to move their business here to Japan. They want a CEO who can speak both Japanese and English. They offered me 1.2 million American dollars a year, a car and a penthouse apartment in the city. I don't need the family business anymore. You and I are going to live very well on our own."

"What do you mean by you and I? You haven't even asked me anything yet. What if I have moved on and become happy without you?" He blinked and looked at her as if she were crazy. " Well for one you wouldn't be singing songs about how evil I am in font of a bunch of strangers and two I wanted to give you this for your birthday." He reached in his pocket and pulled out a dark blue velvet box with a white ribbon tied around it. " Go on open it." he said. She untied the bow and flipped open the box to see the most perfect canary yellow diamond ring ever created. "Oh, Sesshomaru it's beautiful" she gasped. He took it from her and put it on her finger. "I know I should have asked 2 months ago, Rin Suzuki will you marry me?" She started to cry and threw her arms around his neck burying her face into his hair.

He pulled her away from him so he could look at her "Does that mean yes?" She nodded forcefully and smiled through her tears. He wiped away her tears and whispered "I love you" So only she could hear. "You have a lot of making it up to me to do" He nuzzled his head against hers and said "I know and I promise to spend the rest of our lives doing just that."

Soon Kagome, Inuyasha, Miroku, Sango and a very drunk Kohaku came around the corner. " Is everything alright Rin?" Kagome asked with a smile. "Well my dear Miko I have just asked this darling woman to marry me and she has somehow agreed." Kagome squealed at the top of her lungs and squeezed Rin and Sesshomaru until Rin squeaked out "Kagome I can't breath." She let go and turned to hug Inuyasha " Well Rin I guess this turned out to be your best birthday yet." Inuyasha smiled at her.

Rin smiled, turned and gave Sesshomura a kiss on his cheek. She then said " I guess it is Inuyasha. It really truly is."


End file.
